Thursday, April 12, 2007

I feel like I have got to just split away from studying for my religion module and say something.
The whole room bidding thing has revealed A LOT about the relationships between the people in hall. and is threatening to destroy even more friendships. all this bitching and politics and rumors, sigh. some people find out that their friends are really just 'friends' ( most don't, so the whole facade continues. I can't say which situation is better) some people start realising that they've probably gone so far from the clique that they are considered as, to put it badly across, a liability. for some, their entire clique leaves, having to integrate awkwardly into another. for some cliques, they realise how unwelcomed they are in the entire hall. I wonder how that makes them feel.

And all of this makes me realise how IMPOSSIBLE it is to keep secrets around her. everyone knows what you are doing, the things you've said about other people, you attitudes, your 'scandals', etc etc, and these people would take in anything they hear (most of the people here anyway) without bothering to find out if there's any truth in it at all. everyone talks. there's no end to this. People don't even have to know what you look like. that's what the dining hall is for anyway, pointing out peoples of various scandals.

And all this faking! people know who are not exactly fond of them but everyone's still forcing a certain kind of niceness. all this while both parties keep judging with bias whatever the other party has said while keeping that smile plastered on their faces. It all boils down to who is the better actor. the rumors are usually based on observations and speculation really. makes you think that maybe the ones closest to you are the ones who started those stories, because really, who else would know more?

This is starting to sound like that prison study that had gotten out of control and all. Are we all really that...evil? we could say we were forced to defend ourselves to deal with all this, say, politics, but really its just a constant spiral. If you're bitching about people, how can you expect people to not do the same to you? I swear if eusoff was hollywood i would do very well as a paparrazzi. so much juicy news and gossip flying around, we just need someone to write them down. (just a suggestion to eusoff publications. haha) but really, how is all this bitching about other people going to do anything constructive??

I wouldn't say I'm not guilty of much bitching and rumor spreading myself despite saying so much, but I've realised that this is very bad especially how I have tendacies to 1) say the wrong thing or put facts in the wrong way, 2) be unable to keep any secrets of any kind, 3) be nice to everyone face-to-face, no matter if i like them or not, 4) have access to quite a lot of the scandals going on, 5) be unable to remain objective in such situations basically because of the inability to resist confomity.

haha. this is bad. which is why on some days I just feel this urgent need to RUN. run home, run to people who are really not into this whole politics (trust me, there are people who has managed to remain out of everything), run to my room and lock the door and pretend to be sleeping ( most of the time i really am), run to old friends. this is very important for people to retain their sanity. VERY important. sigh somedays i think i should just retire forever into the depths of a room somewhere in...E block and remain the ??? person.

But really, this whole hall thing is tiring but on another hand its so...exciting. Who would be able to come up tops in this sort of volatile situation, who would be able to make use of all this to their advantage? haha. i think if anyone can survive hall can survive anywhere in the working world!

I just need to THINK before saying and when listening to all thses stuff. we need to filter information people, not take whatever crap you hear!

kays, back to Weber now. yawn.

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