Amnesia.
I wasn't going to do anything this valentine but the mood caught on as all of the other c3 girls were making presents so I guess I gave in after all. My room for the past 2 nights have been turned into santa's workshop of some sort and now it's in a huge mess (thanks to yijun man, all her rubbish is still lying around in my room). But it was kind of sweet and heartwarming to see girls sitting around together and making(and then comparing) presents for their boyfriends and all. Valentines day brings about a generally happy mood I suppose, especially with all the excess of endorphins released :))
I hate it when I just thought I can trust someone and totally be comfortable with them, they completely disappoint you in one way or another. and then you're left wondering what to do. And then you start doubting yourself, thinking if there was something that you did that hurt that someone else that made them cold towards you. and then by the time your friend would have drifted so far away that there's nothing you can do but watch the person go. I am just torturing myself. but I guess when other people can tell we aren't that close anymore, it's not just me. At times like this I wish I was a boy and not be such a girl.
I find it amusing and kind of scary that I am as readable as an open book. I mean, I can't act or lie at all, and everything is written on my facial expressions apparently. haha. the most recent example was me saying something mean like 'like I can give a shit' and then wanyu simply replied 'this meiyi ah, she's zuay yin xin luan one loh' (erm translated, it means something along the lines of i like to act tough but the heart is soft) and I was just speechless and all i could think of was shit, my mum has been using that phrase on me for as long as I can remember. So yah, if you think I really like/love/hate you, I REALLY do like/love/hate you. It's that simple. This is why i cannot pretend to be cool no matter what I do. And this is why I am damn easy to bully. erm well, I guess it's just who I am. but this is bad when I thrown into the working world. really bad.
oh and why the title Amnesia? cos last night I dreamt that I lost all my memory. and I was happy.
I wasn't going to do anything this valentine but the mood caught on as all of the other c3 girls were making presents so I guess I gave in after all. My room for the past 2 nights have been turned into santa's workshop of some sort and now it's in a huge mess (thanks to yijun man, all her rubbish is still lying around in my room). But it was kind of sweet and heartwarming to see girls sitting around together and making(and then comparing) presents for their boyfriends and all. Valentines day brings about a generally happy mood I suppose, especially with all the excess of endorphins released :))
I hate it when I just thought I can trust someone and totally be comfortable with them, they completely disappoint you in one way or another. and then you're left wondering what to do. And then you start doubting yourself, thinking if there was something that you did that hurt that someone else that made them cold towards you. and then by the time your friend would have drifted so far away that there's nothing you can do but watch the person go. I am just torturing myself. but I guess when other people can tell we aren't that close anymore, it's not just me. At times like this I wish I was a boy and not be such a girl.
I find it amusing and kind of scary that I am as readable as an open book. I mean, I can't act or lie at all, and everything is written on my facial expressions apparently. haha. the most recent example was me saying something mean like 'like I can give a shit' and then wanyu simply replied 'this meiyi ah, she's zuay yin xin luan one loh' (erm translated, it means something along the lines of i like to act tough but the heart is soft) and I was just speechless and all i could think of was shit, my mum has been using that phrase on me for as long as I can remember. So yah, if you think I really like/love/hate you, I REALLY do like/love/hate you. It's that simple. This is why i cannot pretend to be cool no matter what I do. And this is why I am damn easy to bully. erm well, I guess it's just who I am. but this is bad when I thrown into the working world. really bad.
oh and why the title Amnesia? cos last night I dreamt that I lost all my memory. and I was happy.
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