Made of sticks and hay.

If you do not ask me about it, I can usually put up a very good show. Otherwise, I will break on the spot so badly you'd wish you hadn't asked. it's quite funny actually, how does one reply to 'are you okay?'. yes would make you sound like a unfeeling bitch, no makes you sound like you're trying to gain more sympathy. option one, say yes and no and then you have to give a whole essay of explaining why, which no brain can do so under that kind of circumstances. second, try to do some body language manipulation when replying quickly with a curt yes without looking at the person straight in the eyes would mean 'no, not reallly okay, I'm just trying to sound brave and I don't want to talk about it'. but some people are idiots in this area and they DO continue asking about it. But really, THANK YOU to those who bothered to ask in the first place (fake concern or not, these things are very obvious) but that's just about as far as I can carry on the conversation right now. sorry to those who got the information a little late, I just did not know how to say it so suddenly. I was told information like this spread naturally, but apparently it didn't. I have so much to say about the funeral, but maybe a week or so later. really, not now. so forgive me if sometimes I avoid talking about it at all costs, desperately finding something else to talk about or make a joke that is seriously not funny, because that usually means another night of crying for me. sometimes, silly me, I think I am brave and start talking about these things, in the end wishing the conversation would end asap. seems like we are almost never as strong as we like to be. a silent hug would sometimes be sufficient.

in other news, so long and farewell to the expedition people! I bet you guys won't miss us, haha.

just saw this on mtv. best isolation I've seen since kaba modern I'd say.