I can't sleep...

sometimes I think it's just me being paranoid. which, in turn, affects the way I react to certain people. and then when the conversation goes weird, I blame it all on the other party, saying that the person is being judgemental or just plain shallow. All the result of being too self-conscious, and just not confident enough. Maybe sometimes I shouldn't think so much anymore.

But some people REALLY are that shallow. And they think no one can tell.

And I simply don't know how to react to nice people! My friendships are built around mean jokes and sacarsm and bullying and teasing. (hmm, suddenly these friendships sound like they're not worth keeping). haha. But we know we love each other and we've got each others' backs (most of the time). But nice people are soo horridly polite, it just doesn't feel like you're talking to the real them at all. Well i guess everyone's still not comfortable enough to be themselves. Sorry if i came across as overly mean and honest too quickly, haha, I'm just evil.

I feel like i'm finally beginning to open up to my og group.

I miss choir practices! I was just talking to Boon Liang (pple, remember him?!) about our days in xms choir. Gosh I realised I missed choir soo badly. Days when me and huiyi slacks away behind everyone, when we pissed our conductor off so much, when we have slow-moving sectionals, when we sopranos go too sharp again, when we bitch with our seniors ( I miss Leonie, Wingyi, Cihui, Andy, Norvin..everyone!), when we have to put on ugly gowns and super-thick make-up, when we skip around in socks in the studio! haha... hai~ i want to be young again...

The pictures are coming. The pictures are coming. The pictures are coming.