I hate the way my parents fuss over me whenever i get home from hostel. I know they mean well but its really annoying. It's not like i was in another country, or like i havent been home in years. I hate to say this but they're really making me dread going home and want to just stay in hostel even during the weekends (if not for the constant phone calls). Everyone's suddenly so nice, it just feels weird, like its not my family anymore, and i have no idea how to react to them. thank goodness my brother is still enjoying being a pain in my ass.

anyways hostel life is much better than it was in the beginning. but still far from what i want. so, i gotta continue socialising hard. but i know i cant force such things, just that i'm not giving up yet. why do i feel like the more we know ourselves and are finally comfortable in our own skins, the harder it is to socialize with big groups of people? i used to be so-- malleable.

and school's pretty okay. its really slack i must say. I really have to get used to going to classes alone.