At the end of all things.

the problem with emo posts is that people tend to think you are emoing 24/7 until a new entry is made. even I get the feeling like I should be feeling emo 24/7 when i read my own blog.

so anyway, I am some serious blur shit because I thought I was going KL on friday night but actually its tomorrow. thankfully I called someone to ask for details. I don't know what I'm doing these days man, just going through days without thinking. It's really been quite a while since I properly used my brains i suspect. And i have to admit, no matter how many times I've been told what exactly we're going to be doing on the trip, my brain tuned out and all I hear is 'so, we're going to be blah blah blah blah' so yeah, this trip is going to be exciting for me cos I have no idea whats happening. yay. no wonder my parents are always so worried about me going away alone. confirm get raped and murdered on this trip if i don't wake up my idea soon. like, tomorrow. everyone please make sure I return in one piece by Monday night. thankews:)

I feel a little guilty that I'm still going on a holiday and still having my birthday stuff despite what happened, we all know we're supposed to wait 100 days after a funeral. But then all guilt disappears when I think about how my cousin is still going ahead with his wedding in early june. that one I cannot beat.

Ever since Tuesday, I feel a little lighter and more optimistic that things are going to change for the better. My fingers are crossed.