Saturday, April 26, 2008

A place for my head.

In this long week of studying ( all 5 days of semi-pseudo studying), I've learnt one useful thing and that is discovering where is the best place to think. it's private, it's safe and it's peaceful; the toilet cubicle. Somehow most of the mysteries of my lectures notes have been solved right there and then. Julia agrees. somehow, we all think better in the toilet. And because I brought my humanistic notes to study (yes yes, I read in the toilet), I was literally contemplating life while sitting on the toilet bowl, something about the meaning of existence and free will. which I must add, not even a hint of it was tested for. but yeah, this proves that the filthy rich Hollywood celebrities was right about one thing. we should all have huge bathrooms with jacuzzi baths and solid gold toilet bowls and sofas and lcd tvs. and the lcd tvs will so happen to be switched on the mtv channel as people come visit my crib. so we can all contemplate on life's mysteries like how we're going to cast aside our defenses and peer through the veneer of culture into the void of meaninglessness and despair twice daily. and in all the material comfort we can afford. an irony in itself yes. yoda me am going to talk like. because my brain is fried ( I rhymed!).

anyway, after paying 800+ points for it, and thinking that it was oh so exciting (until I sat down and really looked at the readings only the week before examinations), I'm concluding that the personality module sucks. personality itself is interesting. but our module should really be called the Personality and Individual Differences And Everything Else In the Universe module. I don't see how 80% of the module talks about personality at all. I cannot believe we have so many selves, the possible self, the procedural self, the declarative self, the relative self, future self, past self, self-esteem, self-regulation, self-value, self-regard, self-concept, self-scheme, self-judgment, until the maybe-i-have-borderline-personality-disorder self. and you wonder why people go crazy. Throughout studying for this module, I can't help but think about:
1) how much i need Prozac,
2) how I am going to just become just like my mum,
3) how brilliant Freud actually is,
4) what an insecure, dependent, emotionally-unstable, neurotic, anxious-ambivalent, lousy crazy psychopath I am and,
5) how much I've forgotten to pay attention and appreciate the good side of my personality.

It's like seeing someone else with those similar characteristics as yours and you go 'urgh, was I that annoying??' kind of thing. It's a bit like enlightenment man. thats why I love psych. It's giving yourself free therapy, but then again you'd have to read through 600 pages for that free therapy.

exams on arts modules are total word vomit. and like real vomit, you feel all light-headed and empty after that. you'd take a rest, sleep a while, then you gotta go find something else to fill up that empty space when you wake up.

goodnight people, at 1pm in the afteroon :))

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