last night was omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg.
ok and i'm in (not so seriously) lack of sleep.
and its raining.
like hello. obviously i'm going to sleep now.





sweep me off my feet, you.

Well, I was about to make an emo entry with lyrics to an emo song and all.

Then yijun came to my room and passed me merci chocolates with a very sweet note attached. apparently it's for this choir thing i've got later.
OMGGG AWWWWWWWW SO NICE LAHHHHHH!!
it's all so unexpected.
considering I don't even care much about the performance later. hurhur.
well I can't eat it now, think of it as part of a moral conscience to my choir heads who specifically told us not to do stupid thing like eating heaty food before the performance.

i'm still kinda freaking out about this.

hope the performance goes well luh. and that at least we do better than kr (the things they have been saying about us! argh. ) and hope that kim and yin don't find that they are wasting time coming down for the show. fingers crossed!

********
oh wells here's the lyrics to the emo song -Liar, Liar.


You said I was your everything,
You said I was the one,
You played me like a radio,
You use to love that I had no shame.

Pour my pain into words,
Hold my hand to the flame.

Tell me you love me like a star
Tell me you want me where ever you are,
Tell me you breathe me until your last breath.
Liar, Liar, oh, Lia, Liar.

Bit by bit I feel the draft,
Just sit back and watch it burn,
Hold your eyes upto my viens,
Call out, call my name

Tell me you love me like a star,
Tell me you want me where ever you are,
Tell me you breathe me until your last breath.
Liar, Liar,
Oh, Liar, Liar, Liar, Liar, Oh, Liar, Liar

I am feeling very loved right now.
=)
=)
=)

yea, friends are much much much much much much much much more important.
And really, could I ask for more?
(i'm seriously smiling like an idiot to myself right now)

unfortunately, i have a serious character judgement problem. I keep wasting my time and effort on people who are not worth it. On people who aren't true. On people who don't appreciate it. On people who treat me like crap.

I hope this time I am (more of) on the right track. and that these people are the ones who would be there, for life.

beatboxing,
choir,
rock band,
electric guitars,
drums,
dancing (where's my breakdancing??),
original compositions...
(and acting)

oh my. I feel my knees getting weak again.

so yesterday was dear sammy's commissing parade. the few moments that I was slient, waiting for the bloody parade to start, a thought suddenly struck me: OH MY GWAD, WE ARE SO OLD ALREADY!! looking at how old his brothers are, i realised that really, time has passed too quickly. unfair! sigh. yesterday was madness. you should have seen us in the kbox room. It's the highest I've ever been. the 3 of us have known each other since like..........sec3? and I knew sam from sec 1!! omg. thats like 7 years? wow. didn't feel like it's that long. to think i was this close to pangseh-ing him for the parade! haha...thank god i didn't. what's next man. hopefully the three of us could see each other through university graduations, weddings and baby first month birthdays, etc etc. haha right. i'm thinking too far ahead already.
meanwhile here's to old friends.
and the boy (who has recently become a man. HAHAHAHA) who'd just been commissioned by cheating his way through ocs. yea, that cheater. congrats.

slow afternoons.
quiet.
snoring cleaners in the toilet.
everyone's doors closed, away at lectures or sleeping.
the soft (which is very unusual, trust me) sounds of Damien Rice from my laptop playing.
this heat of the weather. and having to squint at anything outside.
the still and welcoming darkness down the corridoor.

blinds down, music off, doors locked.
it's time to sleep.

so last week, i was sitting in the midst of the crowd in the Jam Aloud, people's heads bobbing to the sounds of drums and electric guitars and the lead's screamings of indiscrimate words, and I was contemplating on life, and wondering why were you not sitting right next to me.

I was thinking of ty's expression when she heard that I wanted to go listen to the rock bands. Utter disgust. which then made me realise, why do I have friends like that? then i got round to thinking about how all my different friends. Imagine, if I was at the forum with the girls like wy, grace and juls, they would probably be the ones shopping at the bazaar, cringing at the noise and that horridly rowdy crowd. and I'd probably do the same. If i was with clara and xt, gosh, we would definitely be the groupies. not the ones just sitting there with the crowd clapping along, but the ones jumping up and down and screaming along with the band (think tj days guys, which, incidentally, made me miss you lot. sigh) then i look at audrey and steph and their girls and I wonder when will I ever be like that. girls like that, i'd say, you can only wonder what kind of lives they lead. i mean, besides the fact that i live right opposite audrey and everynight i can see her in her room through our wide open doors, but still there seems to be something more to what i see but that i'm never going to find out. And i guess i don't really want to, cos that's just going to spoil the whole mystery, wouldn't it.

But deep deep deep down inside I really wanna be the female lead vocals in the band. The girl in control of the crowd, the amazing voice, and your band supporting you. like, like, amy lee. sigh, why do i have such a high screechy voice and not one that's deep and jazzy-ish. And when will I ever have enough confidence to sing in front of a crowd? I could hardly keep my legs from going weak for god's sake.

*******

and why is it that everytime someone gets angry with me, I blame myself? and not the misunderstanding, not the fact that he was just going crazy on me without reason.

I don't know what I want.
But I guess I'd stay away from you 'till I figure out.

dream diary entry 2:

I just dreamt that Ruisheng and Freda are getting married! And me, as their very good friend and 'child' (meiyi junior), is one of the bridesmaids. Ruisheng briefs me and Darren that we must dress up in the colour of olive, and Darren actually asked what an olive is. Ruisheng tries to draw it out. "The thing which comes with martinis!" I said very excitedly. Freda comes in, except that she looks exactly like Fann Wong, with the rest of the would-be bridesmaids and asks me if I've got blusher. Then, she insists that all the girls throw away their blusher and that everyone uses the same shade of blusher.

i'd like to see the dream experts decode this.