It just speaks for itself....

This funny, sick feeling inside.
This unexplainable, sudden hatred for being in hall.

And right now I just wanna run home.
And I really mean RUN. not take a 2hr bus.
teleport. I need to teleport. Apparate.

I am this close to bursting into tears.

This must be one of the worst kbox sessions ever. I can't believe I'm home so early.

And I've just been terribly depressed these couple days.
:(

I carry your heart with me
I carry it in my heart
I am never without it
Anywhere go you go,my dear;
and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling
I fear no fate
for you are my fate,my sweet
I want no world
for beautiful you are my world,my true
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows
Here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart
I carry it in my heart

here I am, waiting for the rest of The Hills Have Eyes to load on my computer and I can already tell it's going to be another one of those cannibals/psychos meet passing travellers who have taken a shortcut and gotten lost (a trap by the cannibals/psychos themselves, of course) movies. Such shows affect me so much that i would go thinking...oh, i should go on a backpacking trip around America one day, i could rent a car and...oh no! what if i run into cannibals/psychos in some forest (wrong turn, cabin fever) or in some desert (the hills have eyes) or some corn field (friday the 13th, children of the corn) or some deserted small town (house of wax) and they would eat me up or turn me into wax and no one would ever know what happened to me! ...so yeah, i'm getting quite scared of America and its vast lands.

American horror films are never about ghosts, more like evil crazy people who have lost touch with reality or some sort of demon. Even when there are ghosts, its always about good-natured ghosts who have died in the hands of some maniac who is still living among the people, pretending to be nice to them and all. Asian films, on the other hand, are always about crazy ghosts who cannot reason and kills everyone in the show somehow. Ghosts who climb out of your tv set, cell phones, sinks, bathtubs, fax phones, your hair, washing machines, ovens, microwave, underwear, and so on. The angmohs prefer something more solid, apparently, something you can actually shoot at and the 'thing' would die. or course, 'it' would also revive in parts 2 and 3 of the same movie but thats another story.

actually i can guess why. ang mohs dont actually look scary in any way. if u see an angmoh little girl appearing at the end of the hallway i think you would be more of 'aww, cute' rather screaming and tearing your hair out. imagine the Ring with long blonde hair and you'd get my point. asian kids are darn creepy on the other hand. but then again, i can't really tell if they're asian. they're all blue for some reason. or white. but i know they are starting to use blue kids in shows like the messengers. so yea, blue is just a scary colour.

Ah anyways, Hollywood should totally come up with new material for their horror films. boring shit.

trust parents to spoil your day immediately after your friends leave.

anyway, it was butch hunt at zouk last night. for ppl like me, yes, there is such a thing as a butch hunt. rreally interesting. i was bored with waiting for people to turn up so i decided to check out the pretty girls there. there were hardly any guys there at all anyway. vests and suspenders are apparently very much in with lesbians right now. It's hard to find good-looking butches huh. those i saw outside were, erm, pretty bad. so the contestants all turned out looking not so bad in the end. trust me, the photos on the website were all kinda badly taken. they look way better. din really like the results actually. well, charm was alright but zsa should have won! She rocks lah. piercings and tattoos totally work for her. how cool was she!? haha. calvin is super pretty. but lets face it, she wouldnt let her win in the first place. karl was seriously goodlooking but oh wells...whatever, zsa should have won. bah. haha i realised i completely forgot to mention lane whom i was supposed to be there supporting. wanyu rocked on stage! and the drag queens were like so absolutely fabulous.

and then we had our sleepover. we ended up with only yin, wanyu and kim. it was ok, wanyu and yin didnt pass out as quickly as i expected them to. so we stalked girls on friendster for a quite a while and then wanyu managed to choreograph something as we all laid in bed talking crap. she stole my blanket in her sleep and both kim and yin froze and suffered through the night. heh. we hardly got out of bed all day, except to eat and to watch edward scissorhands. and then yin and wanyu decided to pretend that they were uma thurman and lucy liu after watching kill bill. psycho friends.

dear fadilah was late for like 45 mins for the class thing on saturday, leaving me to perish together with the rest of the class when she was he one who planned the outing! after lunch, she then made the guys take photo one by one with her as though she is one of those wax figurines at mdm tussauds. we then went to shop at marina square where she laments abt the fact that she is smaller than size 6. made me take the catalog magazine for her for nothing, then made me landmark for her photographs and is mean to the guy in green. haha. she then bought two necklaces, robbing clara of the experience of buying her first necklace. and we played throw the hoop on the toothpick holder, then SHE ATE MY FOOD for dinner :) and rolled till her eyes popped out because of the waiters. and then she had to go home, leaving me to suffer in xiting's sudden spur of madness.

today is like, a goddamn miracle.

first, the jc class reunion lunch turned out to be better than i expected. i am actually able to chat with my classmates for quite some time without awkward silences, which really is amazing. well except the fact that we were actually eating in pizza hut. pizza hut! and i din even get my stuff crust because everyone was busy ignoring me as usual. qihui came! haha...amazing. she didn't really hang out with the class i think. or maybe just sitting silently somewhere. well, most of the class sits silently most of the time, except for us. then timo seem to insist on coming in his ugly green uniform all the way from tekong, not bad. timo needs to get a life. really dude, stop with ur sleeping and warcraft. Clara did not pangseh us! yay! Xiting too. haha. our entire clique got together finally. even rachel appeared. and we actually ran into denise! my gosh, this is really the most surprising. apparently that woman has been receiving my smses but refuses to reply me so i thought i have been smsing a dead person all this while. and i found out that she knows yijun through work! the world has really gotten damn small.

But everyone's still the same! (boring lah you people) :)

the most successful mambo night so far! the place was finally playing almost all of the songs that i have in my limited knowledge of mambo songs. and me and sara were no longer just standing around and gaping at the people at the podium. yayers. and a little respect finally played! OMG. And eusoffians are really party animals i tell ya. lets see, we saw freda, zhiyuan, da ming, jessica, ming and christina. gosh i miss christina :(

clubs banning smoking is really the best decision ever. The air at zouk smells almost sweet at first, like just the faint scent of everyone's perfume. but you know, as the dance floors get packed and all, it doesnt really smell as different as in the past. but at least i no longer have to scrub my hair out after clubbing to get rid of the smell. there IS still a little hint of smoke in zouk though, i guess some people are quite s-l-o-w in getting the news. so yes, my hair still smells a little like crap.

anyway, good morning world!

Transformers was good! like i told yin, its really one of those movies i can watch over and over again on dvd. and also she stole my line about not being able to look at cars the same way again. humph. some parts were kinda cheesy and predictable especially towards the end but all in all its not bad. really good movies all summer! shrek 3 and ocean's 13 were not bad either. ooh and harry potter's coming...hmm it better be good.

so yeah, i had a weird dream last night. you know how sometimes you dream that you're dreaming? this time round I dreamt about dreaming about dreaming. it's erm, complicated.

And this girl is super cute!

I almost forgot that I love this song. it was playing for quite sometime on repeat in my hostel, i think yijun should know. haha. :)

Schuyler Fisk Paperweight Lyrics
(feat. Joshua Radin)

Been up all night staring at you
wondering what's on your mind
i've been this way with so many before
but this feels like the first time
you want the sunrise to go back to bed
i want to make you laugh
mess up my bed with me
kick off the covers i'm waiting
every word you say i think
i should write down
don't want to forget come daylight
happy to lay here
just happy to lbe here
i'm happy to know you
play me a song
your newest one
please leave your taste on my tongue
paperweight on my back
cover me like a blanket
mess up my bed with me
kick off the covers i'm waiting
every word you say i think
i should write down
don't want to forget come daylight
and no need to worry
that's wastin time
and no need to wonder
what's been on my mind
it's you
it's you
it's you
every word you say i think
i should write down
don't want to forget come daylight
and i give up
i let you win
you win cause i'm not counting
you made it back
to sleep again
wonder what you're dreaming