What seahorse?

OKAY ming has found the angmoh version of me. Or maybe it IS me. and I have a secret life and a secret band that no one know about yet. until now.

random pleasures.

so here I am, 5am, in the midst of pouring my heart out to Sarah because I think I finally realized what's been bothering me and no one's awake to say it to. THIS is word vomit. it's been an interesting day really, starting with the Ang Moh guy at Dadi's listening in to our conversation about parties and getting shit drunk. and he decided to join in on discussing how to get drunk fast. then tech class was mighty fun, i almost forgot how much i love dance. tiring yes (thanks to Betty, whom we all still love), but we were all so high and giggly after that, like we were always after some dance practice. afterwhich I realised my pillows and soft toys were missing. then I found out how much an empty bed distresses me. supper was simply amusing really. sham.is.so.full.of.shit. in a funny way.

hoho and then there's surprises like my new pink coaster mayyin bought for me because she just HAD to. we're not gossiping, we're networking okay!

Did I mention I found the perfect excuse for any mistake made in your work? Just tell them its art and they wouldn't understand. shuts people up usually, but of course don't tell your prof that.

you might be right in saying that everyone leaves, but I think sometimes they come back :)

I never thought sleeping was a chore. Every once in a while I do get insomnia but I don't think it has ever been this bad. My body is tired, my eyes can hardly stay open but my brain just will not stop working. I guess even when notes do not put you to sleep there's something seriously wrong.
oh sighs.

Communications and New Timbre.

these few days I'm starting to see some serious limitations in my ability to socialize and interact with people. see the funny thing is I can, or at least I think I can carry a decent conversation with just about anyone, except to the few individuals that I kind of like. like you know, LIKE. anyhoo I get reduced to some kind of social retard and everything that comes out of my mouth is just some major random shit if I do manage to say anything at all. That's way uncool.

do you also sometimes feel like you want to share some personal thoughts with someone, but when the moment has passed, you'd only decide against it and then never bring the issue up again? it always reminds me of this episode of Srcubs where Dorian has to kiss Elliot again within 24hrs after their first 'accidental' kiss or he would be labelled as her guy friend for the rest of his life. and the entire episode was just this major countdown as he runs around the hospital trying to get to her. obviously he fails, and then the feeling lost and the moment is just, well, gone forever.

I totally dig the storyline to The Forgotten, although I'd love to see some parts further developed. Meiyi, not myself, really was great lah although she still scares the shit out of me. so thats two types of people I can't communicate with. all in all it was a nice cosy Eusoff night at Old School. urgh except maybe the later massive drinking part. And today I am grateful for you planting your face right in front of me <3 <3

and hello shazzy I heart our school skipping ways.


and somebody tell me how is this sexy. its no wonder i can't sleep at night anymore.

this much variety.

the kind who has manic social mood swings, whom never share their life story, who I will never understand, who, one some days, seem to be all over the place and slightly messed up, who I did not expect, who never stays still with you, who has too many friends, who makes me laugh, who confuses me, who is a roller coaster ride, who makes me braver, who I want to hold and keep safe from the world, who makes life a colourful blur, who makes me take a new perspective, who makes me gush, who makes me blind,

who makes me wonder.

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rag dancers can be controlled by the rag music like bloody puppets seriously. And I feel all happy and excited inside all over again. don't you hate it when boys get together and start acting like a bunch of mindless sheep, worse than any clique of girls can ever get? my neighbours are eating durians, time to run! Oh man I can see the full moon right above me when I lie down on my bed!

In good company.

on days like this I am so glad there's so much more to my relationship with my cousins than just people to smile awkwardly at during chinese new year visits. I can totally be at ease with these people because they already know all of the most embarrassing stuff about me because our mothers gossip about our private matters all the time. my mum and my aunts are seriously the original gossip girls i tell ya.

and watch Burn after Reading you guys. it. is. the. bomb.

the past week made me realize how little I know about some people, even though I thought I already learnt all that I could about them. humans are like ogres are like onions man. In a way we're all really just same same but different. And we have no right to judge.

so I was riding on bus 10 to marine parade today and it went past the chingay place. And I amost exploded in excitement when I saw the familiar EH tree and our shoe float! I can't wait. And I made a mental note to actually go and develop all the photos I'd ever taken during my hall days so it's something I can flip through when I'm all old and Parkinson-ed.

drinking with the young ones on friday night was erm, enlightening on some aspects. we should really try to club in someone's room some night.

My new aim is to write a kick-ass script for channel 8 because their tv dramas can't be more boring. I feel like I've been watching the same show since pri 6. I am going to be so darn famous. just as my palm predicted.

watch this. and tell me if you want the song. this same song I have been listening on repeat since Thursday. I just can't get enough!

and I'm rewatching Buffy I dont care.

Take a Chance.

so it was an interesting visit to MASTER KHOR, resident central forum bazaar palm reader. saying things I hate to admit about myself and he scared me with all kinds of shit about WATER. like omg, I think that's really how I would die seeing how I simply ADORE rain, swimming, beaches, the sea and how right now my dream vacation is a month of surfing in Bali. confirm death by water. But before that I will be rich/marry someone rich BUT before I must say hello enough times because if not I will miss the love of my life. okay but really some things he said about me were pretty true. like this damn rigidity (can it be considered as being stable in a good sense? haha) and indecisiveness (anyone can tell you that's true) and yes, this whole expressing affection thing is really not my forte. all in all, in summary, I am a walking contradiction because my love is supposed to be this damn exciting, interesting person with lots of variety and yet I'm like really rigid. but better than oli lah, her summary was simply two words: 'sex scandals'. hahaha. would be interesting to hear sarah's actually. oh wells, 10 years down the road I shall revisit this post. that is if i haven't been killed by water yet.

We the stars fall.

like seriously the MOST emo song ever! to me (and my brother!) at least because of dear ol' Buffy.




actually looking back on the video now, everything looks cheesy as crap. and I can't remember the plot AT ALL. But I will still heart Sarah Michelle Gellar forever forever!

And tonight, I die happy and blissful:)

The Quarter Life Crisis is Here.

somehow a conversation with the girls turned into how we're still living in this very ugly messed up 'bubble' of hall, how the notion of a career, marriage and kids is looming ever nearer and we're not even anywhere near shit ready. omg I don't want to grow up :(
happy children's day to me pleaaase!