What do you stand for?

me, ty and mich were having lunch at vivo on thurs and we were surrounded by nothing but working people. and we couldn't help but be depressed for a while because we'd probably be one of these lifeless robots in a year or so. I realised no matter how good we are at singing/dancing/acting/sports during our school days and how much effort we put into them, all of it won't matter once we start working. we'd only be one of them and they'd only care if our paperwork looks good. it will be such a pity and life will be oh so meaningless. i must be well on my way to a quarter life crisis.

and the topic of the week seems to be sexual orientation. I think it's something you can't fight, like how you can't fight the moonlight. I guess if i do manage to find a girl whom I'd feel for the way I usually don't feel for my girlfriends, then maybe I'd just go for it. but I know it's easier said than done.



I stand for you when you can't stand on your own :)
(and also for breaking into random song of course)

think thank thong.

There was only one non-zzz point of time during the adolescent psych lecture, and it was when our dear German prof was trying to teach us this:

A logical deduction is when you are told that

All apples are fruit.

All fruits grow on trees.

You'd know that therefore, all apples grow on trees.

So when I tell you that

All Greeks are liars.
I am Greek.

What can you deduce?

Pffffft.

Dear Residents

It has been brought to our attention that some residents would like to take away packed dinners. Residents are requested and encouraged to dine in at dining hall as far as possible. In cases where it is necessary to take away dinners (packed food) due to classes and school actitivities, residents are required to make prior arrangement in advance to take away dinners.

Residents concerned are, therefore, required to inform/register with the Hall Office at least before 3.00 pm daily. He/she is to complete the attached form at the Hall Office. This arrangement is necessary as it will facilitate notification to caterer and for verification purposes when the residents collect his/her packed dinner.

Your assistance and co-operation to this matter are appreciated.

<>

Eusoff Hall General Office

26 August 2008

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I am very unhappy with the world today. first, ivle. then IT coop, then the rain, then now, hall decides to give us this kind of shit. You should have seen the whole bunch of us psych students standing at the queue and protesting loudly when they first started all these nonsense.

urgh, simi sai. I'm going to sleep.

***edit

it just gets worse. it must be that the planets are aligned so NOT in my favor today.

3 4 5 6.

okay I know I said photos but apparently I didn't take any almost decent shots that are representative enough so the entire pile's up on facebook. anyway, I think friday made all of us look at mpsh differently now. for me, the memories are a little sweeter now lah for reasons unmentionable;) I think its quite amazing how we all managed to make an nus event seem like a eusoff event at the end. I mean like next time all allan has to do is make a fake podium then find a eusoffian with a super iTunes playlist and we can have hall bash in function hall already. Don't even need to buy booze, just gather from all the 4th floor boys. I thought clubbing at mpsh would be pretty weird but looks like once you're high, anything goes. So much for thinking about only good clean fun when I left hall, dressed up suitable only for good clean fun. I never had so much space to dance for a damn long time already. hur funny how I havent said anything about any band but yahh, damn proud of sixology no matter what lah. woohoo! haha and sarah...that one i got nothing to say lah. I'm just damn amused.

oh look 5am. see this is what happens when you spend all day sleeping.
ehh chings just told me the Olympics ended today. haha. erm like, where was I?

Truth.

In an essay I had to do for Film and History I was emphasizing on the idea of how as long as you choose to believe certain information, whether they have any truth in them or not does not matter. And I couldn't help but think of so many other situations outside history in which this holds true. So often we find ourselves in the torture of our own mind, going round in smaller and smaller circles. We've almost only perfectly blocked out every other sign which tells us something different from what we already believe. I think this is how I can still be surprised by some actions of my friends around me despite living with them for two years now. And then, one day somehow we'd look back and wondered what the hell could we ever have been thinking. There are no facts, only perspective. And taking psych reminds me everyday how powerful our minds can be in affecting every single thing we do and hence everything we are. In which case, do you realize that we can only be slaves to ourselves?

I must be secretly Russian because I support them for everything in the Olympics. And also during the Cold War. So I was watching them in the synchronized swimming event, and I kept thinking if what I was feeling was this 'awe' my lecturer was trying to tell us about. It was like my heart was in my throat and honestly I was pretty close to tearing. And don't you ever wonder how their lives would be after these athletes have ended their career?

And I will tell you about the Pandemonium concert another time when I upload accompanying photos into my com. I need to talk about things like that because I am going to grow up to be that kind of old farts who can't remember their own names. by then I would need a friend (whose name/face I will not remember) to print out all my archives of this blog to remind me that when I was younger I actually had a pretty exciting life. coolness. now who's going to remember me even after I've forgotten myself?!


Time has stopped before us
The sky cannot ignore us
No one can separate us
For we are all that is left

I believe I have found Claud's long lost brother this morning.
























And also I know where you can find that nike jacket.

Girls.

this is me and yin listening very intently to what's going on at the agm last night.

Me: not cute leh
Yin: but he's damn seh.
Me: really? Hmm... I'm easily swayed by sehness leh.
Yin: hmm...me too.
Me: ...nice.

and yay to Cedeles tomorrow. oh sweet escape :D

Make Me Fly.

first things first (before I forget), what a mindblowing bash that was on thurs. houuu exciting ah. c3 will be how well known already.

my parents just struck a bit with the lottery and they went overboard with the huge ass HD flat screens. every TV you can remember in my house, imagine it twice as long now. I reaally have no idea why TVs get longer but not much taller. As much as I don't mind seeing Nadal's ass get bigger anyday, everyone on my screen now look like big fat hobbits. even the female gymnasts. I think my ideal body image is about to get more warped than ever before. and not even in the normal direction.

after seeing how tingyi and michelle take care of their little sisters in hall, all I can say is, my brother sucks lah. sucks big time. bully me like shit. actually gave me the finger today when he realised he has to drive me back to hall. But how come I still ended up like a spoilt bratty little sister I have no idea. So i think these things must really be inherent in every younger sibling. You just HAVE to annoy your older brother/sister and piss them off, natural one leh.

*****

when I said falling in love with the wind I meant falling in love with someone who's so transient. who comes and goes as he pleases. who you can never have control over. who makes you fly when he's around and you fall hard without him.
and then becks comes along happily and showed me this poem.

Wind and Window Flower - Robert Frost

Lovers, forget your love,
And list to the love of these,
She a window flower,
And he a winter breeze.

When the frosty window veil
Was melted down at noon,
And the cagèd yellow bird
Hung over her in tune,

He marked her through the pane,
He could not help but mark,
And only passed her by,
To come again at dark.

He was a winter wind,
Concerned with ice and snow,
Dead weeds and unmated birds,
And little of love could know.

But he sighed upon the sill,
He gave the sash a shake,
As witness all within
Who lay that night awake.

Perchance he half prevailed
To win her for the flight
From the firelit looking-glass
And warm stove-window light.

But the flower leaned aside
And thought of naught to say,
And morning found the breeze
A hundred miles away.

All I can say is, I have found my calling. I can totally be a poet. or a rapper. yo yo suup. and I wanna give a shout out to ma new homie Sarrah y'all! erm, yes I will shut up nows.

if anyone needs to know, ellen degeneres and portia de rossi has gotten married! which reminds me that Lindsay Lohan is with a girl how come I didn't know. I always thought that samantha person was a dude. somehow the name samantha doesn't give me a clue that its a girl. somehow.

you know, after hearing all that shit from Brandon about how to tell if a guy likes you, I kept thinking about how to know if a girl likes a boy. And I think I just found out how. Its when a girl feels the need to tell that guy everything that's been going in her life without him ever asking her. I think I might be right on this one.

something else I've learnt on the bus today. If there's something you want to know, just ask. can't be any more straightforward than that.

here is the ending to Memento:

We lay in each other's arms
But the room is just an empty space
I guess we lived it out
Something in the air
We smile too fast
Then can't think of a thing to say
Lived with the best times
Left with the worst
I've danced with you too long
Nothing left to save
There's something in the air
Something in my eye
I've danced with you too long
Yeah
Something in the air
Something in my eye
Abracadoo
I lose you
We can't avoid the clash
The big mistake
Now we're gonna pay and pay
I guess you know I never wanted anyone more than you
Lived all our best times
Left with the worst
I've danced with you too long
Say what you will
But there's something in the air
Something in my eye
I've danced with you too long
There's something I have to say
There's something in the air
I've danced with you too long

Start fresh.

my dad was pretty excited when I went home over the weekend, because as a surprise he'd bought the motorola razr rose gold handphone for me which I have been bugging my parents about. I was damn excited also. then I saw the box. and the phone. its some chocolatety-purple colour. VERY not rose gold. I immediately told him its the wrong colour and he just went like 'huhhh'. But I didn't want to be bratty so I just accepted it. pretty nice colour though, people who've seen it said its very sexy. hoho. but this whole incident made me think my dad is very cute. HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAH DADDY! wohoo! also, I finally have a roller chair brought to hall and I cant stop rolling it in every corner of my room. I feel a tad cooler haha. No longer will I be too short for my table!

I'm rather high. No idea is it because of the beer or because I'm a nerd and I'm still excited about school starting :D

Tingyi heard the song on my iTunes and reminded me that this IS the ad for my phone. and at 0.25 this is how I am going to introduce my new phone to people from now on. woot!

last year last chance?

I can clearly tell you the reason why I completely broke down even before the results for rag were announced. Because I've already heard from the audience that it wasn't up to standard, despite us convincing each other that we rocked. Because I see Putra banging the drum loudly and praying every catergory that our hall is mentioned. I always feel terrible for the raggers. I think effort put into rag dance is only 30% of what the raggers have to go through. and I wished so much that at least my friends' efforts will be paid off if not my own. Then there's the ehoc programmers trying to think of a cheer to make the freshies do when we realise we're not going to win anything. It feels so different from when I was a freshie. my seniors up ahead were praying and crying and holding on to each other so tight, who's so free to think of a cheer ah. Mostly, I was just disappointed that I am going to leave Eusoff knowing that the freshies are probably going to see this hall so differently from how we did. I don't think there's going to be as much pride as we had in rag. and in my last year I can't give them that feeling of pride. I wonder just how come we can never match up to our seniors, no matter how much we worked.

But I'm still happy that I've gotten to know people like Sarah (added to list of my few non-bimbo friends), Olivia (BITCH), Kim, Kiat, Renji, Brandon (this is like the second ming), Sharon, and Kaihui just a little bit better. that I've learnt the truth about some people I thought I knew. And a very big thank you to yin (camomile tea!), the rest of the c3 girls, kim, eeling, and jiaxing for their encouragement the night before!! But right now, I need to go be anti-social and crash on my bed. My eyes are red and swollen like my ankles. cui.

I admit I was wrong, and I heart rag :)

Runaway.

now I wish I was socially inept.
everything would be simpler.
and I will be happier.

Is it true what they say?
Is it all just fun and games?
Or is there more behind the makeup,
And the faces full of paint?


I want to quit. make it stop.
But I don't think thats possible.

I am a vampire.

and I don't need sleep. I swear I can do this talking to people for an entire night kind of thing until I die. okay, maybe till 40. wanyu's dance totally made me tear, i think it's the song. but I'm so proud of her! that song she used, downloaded the moment I went back to my room. the sixology closing for orientation was amazingly high, I've not been so happy/crazy in a long while. And today, finally, most of the c3 girls were in. I don't know, I look at the c3 bunch of girls this year and I really feel like being the floor rep all over again. I finds out that many people actually read this, and sometimes I forget with my tagboard not moving and all, but heng, I haven't said anything mean about anyone yet.and I shall not bore everyone with my emoness and whining so now I give you nice nice impersonal but not entirely irrelevant stuff.

anyhoo, I'm just not sleeping talking to oli, then wanyu, then now vanessa (whom shares my distrust for crazily happy people haha) so I was showing van a video of this crazy chinese ballet couple wanyu showed me the night before, then we found out that ming has the swan lake vid of the exact same couple. It's really quite sick. So I will not show you that, but another video of a ballet solo performance with another super damn nice tear-jerker, chills-inducing song.



and this scary popping dance thing yijun showed us a zillion years ago that I cant put out of my head.


and finally, this from my brother. this reply confirm written by a Singaporean.


gdnight bb.