After trying out the lounge (too many people, too dirty) and studying at home ( read: sleeping at home), I am reduced to having to sit on the floor of my room with my fridge as my only source of aircon.

Why is it so damn hot??

Does anyone realise that the hotter the weather is, the more people use the aircon, the more it adds to global warming, the higher the temperature gets?

Excuse me while I go put my head in the freezer.

Fengshui Pwoblems.

I can't believe I cried in public. all because my stupid parents still wanted to go buy shampoo. wasn't so much embarrassment than how I can't even see where I'm going to bother. But i think i kinda freaked them out though, they spent the rest of the day treading around me so carefully. and thank god for them today :)

pui, lousy day. all of this is so totally happening at the wrong time.

A place for my head.

In this long week of studying ( all 5 days of semi-pseudo studying), I've learnt one useful thing and that is discovering where is the best place to think. it's private, it's safe and it's peaceful; the toilet cubicle. Somehow most of the mysteries of my lectures notes have been solved right there and then. Julia agrees. somehow, we all think better in the toilet. And because I brought my humanistic notes to study (yes yes, I read in the toilet), I was literally contemplating life while sitting on the toilet bowl, something about the meaning of existence and free will. which I must add, not even a hint of it was tested for. but yeah, this proves that the filthy rich Hollywood celebrities was right about one thing. we should all have huge bathrooms with jacuzzi baths and solid gold toilet bowls and sofas and lcd tvs. and the lcd tvs will so happen to be switched on the mtv channel as people come visit my crib. so we can all contemplate on life's mysteries like how we're going to cast aside our defenses and peer through the veneer of culture into the void of meaninglessness and despair twice daily. and in all the material comfort we can afford. an irony in itself yes. yoda me am going to talk like. because my brain is fried ( I rhymed!).

anyway, after paying 800+ points for it, and thinking that it was oh so exciting (until I sat down and really looked at the readings only the week before examinations), I'm concluding that the personality module sucks. personality itself is interesting. but our module should really be called the Personality and Individual Differences And Everything Else In the Universe module. I don't see how 80% of the module talks about personality at all. I cannot believe we have so many selves, the possible self, the procedural self, the declarative self, the relative self, future self, past self, self-esteem, self-regulation, self-value, self-regard, self-concept, self-scheme, self-judgment, until the maybe-i-have-borderline-personality-disorder self. and you wonder why people go crazy. Throughout studying for this module, I can't help but think about:
1) how much i need Prozac,
2) how I am going to just become just like my mum,
3) how brilliant Freud actually is,
4) what an insecure, dependent, emotionally-unstable, neurotic, anxious-ambivalent, lousy crazy psychopath I am and,
5) how much I've forgotten to pay attention and appreciate the good side of my personality.

It's like seeing someone else with those similar characteristics as yours and you go 'urgh, was I that annoying??' kind of thing. It's a bit like enlightenment man. thats why I love psych. It's giving yourself free therapy, but then again you'd have to read through 600 pages for that free therapy.

exams on arts modules are total word vomit. and like real vomit, you feel all light-headed and empty after that. you'd take a rest, sleep a while, then you gotta go find something else to fill up that empty space when you wake up.

goodnight people, at 1pm in the afteroon :))

Heart Of Mine.



(okay that was a little too mean)

the one song that's been on repeat since sunday night. Norah Jones makes pretty good study music I must say.

I feel like going home all of a sudden :(

Genetics.

at the hospital today, I realized that I am really like my parents. they've made friends with not just the patients and the nurses in that ward, but also all of the patients' families. win already these people. I also made my dad so stressed out by complaining that I want to go back and study that he almost killed us all by driving like a madman all the way back. And then on comes the health supplements again. I don't know why my parents have so much of those at home (maybe cos my aunt owns a health shop) but yeah, they haven't stopped feeding me all of it. I don't think you're supposed to combine them like this, but well, I feel loved :)
and my brother has finished all his papers today and is going on a diving trip on the same day I'm having my first paper. unfair shit.

I love writing notes, like using different coloured pens and categorizing points. I know I sound like a total nerd, but it makes me feel smart. and because I write with the strength of a bull (I used to be able to tear pages in exercise books with my writing) my fingers are all numb by now, and I think I lost control of my wrist. haha. and I gotta put plasters on my fingers because blisters start appearing again. oh wells, these make me feel like I've done a lot of studying. tomorrow's another nerd day!

I get all excited with the weather like this. the trees rustling,strong winds and thunder rumbling. i feel an urge to run out to anticipate the first drop of rain.
gosh, i heart rainy nights.

I have to say i'm proud of c3 tonight, everyone's studying so hard! and almost NO talking even. jiayou girls!

I'd say go to bed, World.

zomg how cute is this dog! if i ever do get a dog it will be this, whatever breed this is, or that nippon paint dog, or a golden retriever, or a pug. anyways, this dog belongs to martha stewart and it just passed away. and what amuses me most is where got people name their dog 'Kublai Khan Paw Paw Chow Chow Chow' one? talk about indecisive. when you can't pick one name from all that you like, use all. but chow 3 times is a bit excessive really. haha but still, DAMN CUTE DOG!

*****

I love this feeling, just sitting on my bed with my laptop resting on my lap in this nice cool weather. in the dead stillness of the night and the rest of the world asleep. old cheesy love songs softly playing (From the heart by Another Level to be exact, haha). everything, every problem feels surreal and I can finally relax and breathe in a way I've not been to for a long while. I feel calm like everything's going to turn out right eventually. every time i walk back from D block, i'd pause at the bridge and look up at the sky to see if the stars are out. and tonight they finally were, not to mention the usual bright moon over B block. I wanna do the star gazing thing again, no matter how silly I look.

Think I'm going to put the song on repeat as I sleep:)
Goodnight everyone.

SORE.

because whenever my emotions are all messed up inside, I talk about irrelevant surfacial stuff (must be my defense mechanism). I appear jumpier than usual in front of people until someone hits that raw spot.

so watch the other boleyn girl man, its SO bitchy and the ending a total tragedy. like alina said, quite drama mama. i think i like drama mama. Natalie Portman is real pretty and she acted damn well! How i wish i was born in the period of kings and queens man. such fun. although i think i'd just be the peasant girl selling pigs from her family's farm at the village market. haha!

argh it's been a real long day, trying to decide which block to go to. But really, like many people have told me, I guess it's all really up to my self-control to shut up and close my door. so hello c3 girls can we finally get a good sturdy hammock that will actually last us a year?!! And I don't know why but I'm pretty excited about the freshies coming to c3 next sem, this should be fun! shoot i shouldn't be thinking about fun. aiyah die lah die lah.

okay I got some rather shocking news today. And i feel damn guilty being all discriminant and stereotypical. Gosh, sometimes i wish i had a more open mind. and stop.being.such.a.bitch.

I think it'd be best if i stop trying to figure out what in the world some people are thinking and be a little bit more selfish like everyone else. sounds like a good plan. yup.

I'm at my last webcast of my developmental module and the test's tomorrow. But somehow i've tuned out eons ago. actually the lecturer is still going on but he was nice enough to give me empty slides to print for the last lecture and gave me no picture to look at for this webcast so basically i'm falling asleep like I'm at an actual lecture. sigh, he's still talking. anyway, I'm going to take a 'whatever your mother works at mcdonalds' attitude towards room bidding from now. SERIOUSLY. and then speaking of macs, wha they truly suck. but then again, ordering through the drive-thru was still quite exciting ah. OMG i have to talk about how a humongous bitch my brother is. So, my brother saw me when he came out from the toilet.

Brother: why are you wearing the same thing as me!
Me: it's not the same thing you idiot.
Brother: it is. change out of it now!
Me: I wore it first!
Brother: But I wear it better.

And I was just speechless. seriously, when people say I'm bitchy now you know WHERE I LEARNT IT FROM. this is why i say if me and my bro were in the same school and we meet, there will be a total showdown. very scary. this is how we show affection. argh, at least gaston treats me more like a sister.

ooh I think my newest favouritest show has got to be Ice Truckers. something about competing how many runs and money they can earn by transporting heavy material for long distances AND the thing is, the roads are merely frozen lakes so they cant actually stop or slow down on the roads cos the ice would just break. quite exciting! and today from the show I learnt that it is possible that water vapour can just freeze in midair when its cold enough so there're just snowflakes floating around in midair like a fog.

a very memorable line I heard over the weekend was 'the road to hell is paved with good intentions'. I don't know, but sometimes it does seem to apply.

okay i better go replay that webcast. laters people :)

Project Hope :)

I finally managed to rediscover photos in my external hard disk finally after getting it fixed. (although i think i lost my Switzerland photos. the horrors!) so yah, nah there you go, my cambodia experience, since many people I know are going soon also!

I shall start from the end (because I uploaded the photos in this orientation and am too lazy to go shift everything around). So hello Vietnam!

Do visit the this whatever tunnels (I seriously forgot the name. chut chit? something like that lah) which the vietcong built to fight the americans, if i didn't get my history facts wrong. when they showed us the map of the entire network of tunnels, all I could think of were ants. anyways, its super impressive, get to shoot some rifles somemore. here is my friend pretending to be a tourist taking photo with my friend pretending to be one of the fake figures. haha!


Vietnamese traffic really rocks. can cross roads with a blindfold. cos firstly, jams are so bad that no motorcycles (not cars) are moving anyway and they will really really dodge you one. because they're riding at a slow enough speed. they seriously overuse their horns though. it's like the new vietnamese languagee. no such things as lanes.
This is what you see going down the mekong river. nice but, you ONLY see this for 2hours. AND the only way to cut the boat trip short is to drown yourself . I remember chingching telling me someone tried to sell their baby amongst all the fruits and vegs in the sampans waiting for tourists to come by.THE BEST BBQ I ever had with the team! the atmosphere was damn nicee lah. gosh i seriously miss that night in vietnam!

okay cambodia! This is where we stayed and also furnished. and painted. look at it in all its PINK glory! okay cant really see here but the entire first floor is pink! whahahaha. This is why I was happily painting way into the night and the next day while the rest of the team just died halfway. Christmas in Cambodia. that's the head of my team. doing a santa strip dance. very disturbing, very drunk. another really fun night! we sang xmas songs at top volume while walking through town in the dark(with our horde of kids following us) and stayed up late looking at shooting stars!

sorry but i'm going to brag here. this represents the number of people who turned up for the final day of the camp, WHICH I PLANNED. rocks lah :)motorbikes in cambodia also move very slow, but this time because the horsepower damn cui. so we could take photos and pass the camera between the bikes. until now i still cannot believe the guy riding the bike is actually posing for the photo also. wha lao, dont need to see where he's going one ah! scary.

Our best team photo. hha. maybe cos can't see our faces.


We also celebrated tangyuan day over there. made tangyuans from SCRATCH. I remember holding the see-who-can-peel-more-peanuts-faster competition. thats always a good way to improve productivity. take note, jess! haha. thank god my team had so many people who can cook! If not, everyday will get maggie mee which was what i cooked when it was my duty haha.
MUST MUST MUST try the pancake/waffle there. damn nice and super cheap!

Sunset :) one of those times in cambodia when you can anyhow take photo and it will still turn out damn nice.
This is how we prevented mosquitoes from biting us.
ooh and this is me, enjoying the lazy days in cambodia :))


the only complaint i've got is that our aim of going there seemed to cater to the richer area of pomh penh (i forgot how to spell this) as you can tell by the HOUSES and MOTORBIKES. i wished i was doing something more helpful for the pooper areas. oh wells, we still had fun :)) trips like this, really can never forget one.

first things first, james mcavoy does NOT look like a sheep/goat!! Once again my taste is proven to be damn fantabulous. maybe I need to go get my eyes checked.

seconds, my itunes shuffle played Girlfriend by Avril Lavinge a few days back, and since then I am hooked (AGAIN). omg the song is so positively bitchy and mean. cannot take it. If someone sang that to me, I will surely poke her eyes out on the spot. but then i imagine it'd be quite fun to really sing (and MEAN it) in some other girl and her boyfriend's face. sure bitchfight. and of course, in the end, the boys are going to to get the most out of it.

Looks like if we finally told people what c3's decision is on whether to stay or not, a lot of people will murder us. speaking of staying, it already looks like we moved out. our entire corridor is so desolate and cold, filled only with boring orderly uncharacteristic Ikea $5 shoe racks. I don't think eusoffians are that fat right, need so much space to run from fire. bleah. And our sofa got driven away on a lorry even before we could do anything. sadd.

I must be weird. With my door closed, I can't study without some distractions ( a bit of msn and music) because i will most definitely fall asleep. This might mean I may really be the extrovert the personality tests results have been saying. But then again, I can NOT study with people shuffling around me. so, I dunch know man. right now, the door's open but i'm plugged into the blasting music playing in my earphones. works, but this is also the perfect opportunity for people to come see me jump embarrassingly in my seat when they finally shout loud enough.

last night, 4am, I rediscovered my love for drawing :)

Okay, more pop-pish songs. This is the one song I will sing for my husband on my wedding day. except that i will be more glam than her in the vid. HARHAR. sorry, bimbo moment :))


*******
At 3.43am last night, I felt this overwhelming urge to tell someone something. Just Anyone. My iTunes started playing 3.45 No sleep - the cardigans.

Meiyi says:
OMG.

goondoo samy says:
no sleep by the cardigans right.

Meiyi says:
YAH CHECK OUT THE TIME NOW!!

goondoo samy says:
haha yes yes

Meiyi says:
just nice eh!
sorry cheap thrill.

goondoo samy says:
yah quite cheap.
why still up?

Meiyi says:
project!
you?

goondoo samy says:
I'm looking for vacation jobs.
I'm thinking of selling carpets.
pays well.
everyone needs carpets.
they're an important part of our lives.

Like I said, people start doing/saying/thinking funny things late at night haha!

this friendship is so underground that it's kinda interesting...a lil thrilling even. hmm.

(the more I see James McAvoy's photo on my blog, the hotter I think he is! haha. )

in this lyrics is what i really think love should be like!

我懷念的 是無話不說
我懷念的 是一起作夢
我懷念的 是爭吵以後還是想要愛你的衝動
我記得那年生日 也記得那一首歌
記得那片星空 最緊的右手 最暖的胸口
誰 忘了

我懷念的 是無言感動
我懷念的 是絕對熾熱
我懷念的 是你很激動求我原諒抱得我都痛
我記得你在背後 也記得我顫抖著
記得感覺洶湧 最美的煙火 最長的相擁

Giggling schoolgirls.

Its ironic but i'm blogging a lot these past few days because my brain is finally functioning a little bit more because of all the essays and projects I gotta do :P



I don't know what, but there's something about James McAvoy that makes me think he's hot. When i first saw him, which was in Narnia as the half-creature thing, I was all eww. maybe because he was playing a hairy half-creature thing, but then, hmmm I don't think he's all that good looking, pretty common and all. and i was never a fan of facial hair but seriously, it works for him. but oh wells, his Scottish accent is to die forrrr. I think maybe that was it.

Apocalypse.

If my predictions are right, I think it's time for me to go, run, hide, close my eyes and put my hands over my ears.

The personality essay which I was so excited about turned out to be the most horrendous thing I ever had to write. 1000 words is not an essay. It is also the worst way to torture an arts student. the worst after making them calculate stuff. but since I've learnt that good humor is all about maturity and self efficacy, then HAHAHAHAHA.

aaaanyways, we were on 189 today and there was this damn old couple who came up one stop after we did. and the grandpa was all so concerned about making sure his wife sits down carefully before he took his own seat. we all practically went awwwwwww. But then the grandpa sat beside me and seriously old people do smell. thus ended the sweet romantic moment.

okay sometimes I think I'm really bitchy. and things come out of my mouth ten times worse then I had intended it. shoot, I think I'd better try to be nice. This will surely last only over the next 5 minutes.

Let me go be in denial and sleep. thanks.

funny how the eyes can say so much that the mouths cannot. So we look, with so much emotion, with so much to say. until one of us look away. and things are forgotten, lost. until the next time we meet. until we become strangers.

and because youtube videos are easier to find than mp3clips,

Apple bottom jeans! ( Insanity v2.0)

after ming commented that michelle's music was playing very loudly, that was it. Yijun, mich and I started blasting our own music to see who's stereo's the best. and so begins the countless attempts to play the same song at the same time. We played get low, then bleeding love ( songs we've heard today) then on to the entire soundtrack of Enchanted. It was like it was 'Eusoff the Musical' everywhere. whee. a little bo liao but it was how funs! geez i'd miss days like this in hall! And really, there's nothing like musical soundtracks to get you all high and dancey.

sorry to those who were sleeping. what were you thinking napping in the middle of the day anyway!

<3 <3 <3